SNSD Dear Mom Hidden Meaning…

SNSD Dear Mom… has a touching lyrics, melody, and vocals ’bout a daughter that can’t say I Love You to her mom…

For me… it has a deeper meaning… a hidden meaning…

Last Friday, I went to our house to get my other things and to bring it in my apartment…

I’m very happy…way home… i turned on my iPod… and listen to the new songs including the new songs of SNSD…

By the time, I stepped towards the door… I heard my parents arguing…

I didn’t want to add more heat into it… so stayed outside though it’s very cold outside…about -4C and it’s snowing…

I felt i was falling in the abyss when i heard a very bad news…

My world was shook…and it will explode in anytime…

I can’t bear what i heard so I broke out my silence…I opened the door…

My parents was shocked upon seeing me opening the door… they can’t believe that i heard what they are arguing…

I want it to be clear so I ask if that’s true…

My parents said:
“That’s true… since ur old enough to know it… we’ll tell you the truth… When u (& ur twin) are 1 year old baby, ur mom brought u and him in th front of our gate… Ur true mother wrote a letter stating that she really love u but she can’t give a good life to both of you so she decided to abandon u and give to other person that can give a ggod life to both of u…”

And a movie quickly entered my mind… so I ask them if this only a prank coz i can’t believe it… and I added, “So, is this the reason why ur crying in the movie DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo, while I’m laughing into it… Is that the reason?”

The suddenly… tears fell down like a drizzle in my face…

“Why did u hide it to me?” and I ran away… IDK what to do by that time…

I didn’t ever think of that happening on me…

THAT I’M AN ADOPTED SON…

…my parents ran behind me so I rode a taxi… then… when i rode the taxi about 15 minutes… a radio station (i can’t remember what’s that radio station) played DEAR MOM… so it added to my grief… and I can’t hold back my tears… so the Taxi driver said that I’m very sentimental… i was pissed at him… so i said “shut up”…

…From the taxi till i went on my bed without eating dinner… my eyes flooded a sea of tears…

I can’t imagine that me and my dongsaeng (my twin) are only adopted sons…

Why destiny is very cruel to me? Why?

Last 2007, I am also in grief coz my best friend and my hyung died of cancer… and i started to talk to others after about 3 months…

And now? I knew that i was only adopted…

…my mind is really puzzled by that time…

and after that day… is my stage play…

what happened to me on that night affected my performance…

I can’t focus on the beginning… but when the climax of the story came… i burst of emotions…

All of the 3 directors that watched the play praised me bcoz i covered my mistakes… but they didn’t know that, that’s only bcoz of that night that i can’t forget…
_____________________
Sorry 4 this very long post…

I just want to share it to others coz i think it might lessen my worries…

If u r to ask if i’m angry….

I’m not angry… either on my foster parents or true parents…

I’m very thankful that I had such a caring foster parents….

and also i know that my true parents just wanted to be in good state…

and my dream now… Is to see my true parents…

SNSD can’t say to their mom … that they loved them but I can’t say it bcoz she’s not by my side…

maybe “she’s just watching me from behind” as the line of Yuri goes…

she’s just watching me to grow… but I want to see her… and I’ll find her no matter where she is…

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~ by heewish4it 켬 1월 19, 2009.

4개의 답글 to “SNSD Dear Mom Hidden Meaning…”

  1. I’m glad that you found some comfort through Dear Mom. Hope you get your emotional strength back soon. I’m sure that you’ll find your mother eventually. Be strong!

  2. Recently i was very close to a brother cousin of mine, and at that time he was going through a lot of problems too. But i decided to tell him the truth,

    when he said to me, “People say i don’t resemble my siblings, and i feel like my father is not treated me well. I don’t feel any love from him..”

    At that time i felt that i needed to tell him.. so i asked him, “If i was to tell you that your father now is not your real father…” and before i could finish, he looked at me… and tears bundle up in his eyes…

    “Hey are you… don’t play around with me, you know i’m not doing well lately..”

    so i told him the truth, “Even though you have older siblings and younger siblings, you are the only one that didn’t share the same father as they did”. He cried so hard, that time was my first time to see a man cry his heart out so much he can barely say a word. After hearing him cry, i felt such heavy burden. Thinking to myself “Why’d you tell him, why did you tell him!!”

    But after a couple days he called me and said that, even though he wants to know who his real father is, he is not hurt by the fact that his father now is not his real father. Without the love of this father, he wouldn’t be the man that he is today, because this father took him in the family, feed him, taught him like his son even knowing that he is another man’s son. He doesn’t regret anything at all, but now he understands why he always seems left out in family picture, because people say he looks so different from the others. And when i let him listen to this song he cried… wanting to say this to his father now and real father someday

  3. ohhhh.DEAR MOM.love it…
    sooo touching..

  4. omg…. its very sad to hear that.. but im also happy cuz u’re happy that u’re happy with ur foster parents.

    i’d like to tell u a story of a friend of mine.. when i was in high school, she’s one year lower than me.. so i could say she’s a junior.
    so she said to me that her mom is so white, how come her skin is so tan?
    u see i live in indonesia, we chinese-descends arevery distinctive from the native indonesians..

    so all of d friends are like very mean saying “hey!!!! how come ur mom is chinese and u are native? ahahaha you are ADOPTED!!!”, everyone in the class laughed at her..

    i was in my class laughing with my frens, and she called me and she was crying.
    she said “not only they said that i’m adopted, they also called me ‘dog’.. i’m so sad”, dog in indonesian means that person is very low and disguisting.. really-really a bad word..

    so i felt so sorry for her.. i couldnt do anything..
    until now i dunno where she is.. i also don’t know how she’s been..
    hope she’s happy now..

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